Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION 2: THE LEHMAN EFFECT

Before going through the next sequel of "MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION", read the first sequel right here http://bhashker.blogspot.com/2008/02/million-dollar-question.html

September 6 2008,

After seven months from the meeting that took place at some unknown place, another meeting is scheduled at some other unspecified location.

Every one stands up as the chairman enters; he seats himself in the chair thereafter everyone seats themselves in. He picks up the remote and turns on the TV. A recorded message is displayed and a newsreader starts to announce the news.

Newsreader: The government has formulated a plan to put troubled mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac under federal control, dismiss their top executives and prop them up financially, federal officials told the two companies yesterday, according to three sources familiar with the conversations.

Under the plan, which could prompt one of the most sweeping government interventions in financial markets in U.S. history, federal officials would place the firms under a conservatorship, a legal status giving the government the option and time to restructure and revive the companies, the sources said. The value of the companies' common stock would be diluted but not wiped out, while the holdings of other securities, including company debt and preferred shares might be protected by the government.”

Chairman turns off the TV, faces towards the crowd.

Chairman: “Did you hear that? Now we have access to two of the biggest mortgage lenders of this country. Like I said to you gentlemen seven months ago, everything is going as planned.”

He turns to William Frank, who is seated in the left, and asks,

Chairman: “You’ve been just back from Paris, what are the sentiments there? Most importantly, after these interventions of government in these bloody banks.

Mr. Frank: “They are already into a big financial mess! I guess after a few weeks Europe slips into recession as a few more banks are intervened. You bet, they are going to lose a hell lot of more faith!”

Chairman turns to General Hoggard and General Sheffered;

Chairman: “Good to see both of you healthy and kicking, now that your asses are saved you guys might wanna have a chat with Almasri. Afterall for what he’s done.”

General Hoggard: “Sure Chairman, I appreciate the number of casualties has gone down in Iraq, thanks to Almasri who has abandoned his operations for a while. This will significantly bring down the expenses in new defense bill and we can concentrate on the future Wall Street meltdown.”

General Sheffered butts in,

General Sheffered: “And we’ll let you know when to increase your offensive.”

Almasri who is seated next to William Frank and facing both of the Generals speaks;

Almasri: “That would be done, but make sure the incentives reach by the deadline. Do I make myself clear?”

Chairman: “Whoa! We’ll clean up our conscience later. But first get to the point, Jose, what happened to the consultancy woman you were tracking? Have you got all the members on the card?”

Jose Abraham: “I got her trapped in my cell warehouse but she’s saying a nigger stole her handbag, she had all the stuff in that sick thing.”

Chairman: “You know the consequences if we don’t get that card back in our pocket. You better start a manhunt for that nigger. I need that card badly! You understand?”

Chairman continues,

Chairman: “Alright, enough of crap, let’s get back to business, I’ve been experimenting through all this and what I found I need AIG the American International Group pretty badly! For that I have to drop very big institutions. Only the problem is it’s a 158 year old mammoth. There will be panic in the financial market as this giant goes down, there will be questions arising for the protection of other institutions and we’ll further have access to more banks which results into more money and more power. For this I don’t need any voting, I guess you gentlemen understand?”

September 15 2008,

On the newsstand Munez who has just got back from Argentina picks up the newspaper and reads the news under the headline,

Munez:Lehman Brothers, which filed for bankruptcy Sunday to become the largest casualty of the global credit crisis, is in advanced talks to sell its investment management business, including the crown jewel, Neuberger Berman.”……. “Motherfucker, they got him”……. (Reads further) ……. “is the biggest investment bank to collapse since 1990, when Drexel Burnham Lambert filed for bankruptcy amid a collapse in the junk bond market. Based on assets, Lehman also far surpasses WorldCom as the largest U.S. bankruptcy ever.”

All of a sudden his cell phone rings and he picks up,

Munez: “Hey Jose, you’re calling from your previous number! You got back to Spain?”

Jose Abraham: (on the phone) “Yeah I got back! Good for you, you’re still in N.Y. anyways, are you still keeping that consultancy woman?”

Munez: “Yeah. No word from her!”

Jose Abraham: (on the phone) “You know it’s pretty bad for a black Muslim like me to think like this, his X client was giving him threats to dump her body if she doesn’t return him his forty grands.”

Munez: “Got it!”

He disconnects the phone and gets in his black SUV then opens the newspaper again and turns to next headline and reads,

Munez: “Merrill Lynch's shotgun sale to Bank of America will create the nation's largest financial services company _ one that some believe is too big to fail. Still, no one is breathing easy just yet.” ………….. “I knew this is gonna fucking happen”…………..(reads further) “The deal keeps Merrill from a Bear Stearns-style fire sale or a complete meltdown like Lehman Brothers while removing a major player that some expected to be the next shoe to drop in the credit crisis. At the same time, it will enable BofA to expand the financial services it offers to its already huge customer base. Still, the challenges are enormous: The two companies have starkly contrasting cultures. Billions of dollars of bad debt remain on Merrill's books, while BofA still faces huge consumer credit losses. And the deal was slapped together in less than two days _ meaning that the two financial powerhouses involved might not know exactly what they are getting themselves into.”

Throws the newspaper from the window and drives, then he applies the brakes near a warehouse and gets out, takes the key out of his pocket, unlocks the two big doors of warehouse and enters then locks the doors again. He walks in and turns on the lights, a woman is seated on the chair with both of her hands tied at the back. He takes out a white paper on which a man’s face is sketched and shows it to the woman.

Munez: “This is what we’ve got out of the looks you have described of the man who stole your handbag. So tell me, is this the man? Oops, you can’t speak, I almost forgot about the duck tape you have it on your lips.”

He removes the tape.

Woman: “Yeah he’s the one. What do you people want? Why have you kept me here? It’s been almost one week”

Munez: “Listen to me Jane, when you went to collect your possessions from your boss’s table you accidently picked a plastic card that belongs to the company. Your boss is our company man and that card holds his identity. That’s why we need it at any cost and since you know a lot about this company business from last seven days, you are a liability for us.”

He finishes off his job.

September 16 2008,

On the TV,

Newsreader: “The U.S. government seized control of American International Group Inc. -- one of the world's biggest insurers -- in an $85 billion deal that signaled the intensity of its concerns about the danger a collapse could pose to the financial system. The step marks a dramatic turnabout for the federal government, which had been strongly resisting overtures from AIG for an emergency loan or some intervention that would prevent the insurer from falling into bankruptcy. Just last weekend, the government essentially pulled the plug on Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc., allowing the big investment bank to go under instead of giving it financial support. This time, the government decided AIG truly was too big to fail.”

Munez: (talking to himself)…….. “Just as planned. Congratulations Chairman! Now you have AIG in your kitty”

Finishes off his morning breakfast, throws on a jacket and gets into his SUV. Munez was seventeen when he joined the company, now he’s nineteen. Once Chairman himself told him, “You are going to see beautiful places and drive fancy dining cars because I see your future in you”. Again he applies the breaks in Negro’s town at lower Manhattan and gets out. A few black guys are playing basketball.

Munez: (screams)… “Holla at my homies”

He gets the Negroes’ attention and they approach.

Mike: “ Wo-Wo-Wo, looky here, a white chick’s on a suicide mission.”

Munez: “I know I am in homies town. You see the Testarossa, the toasters right on my lap. I know you guys got an arsenal of infiltry so no funny business awrite!! I swear nigga I am a white man and I am up for Obama, because I waana see a black President in the Whitehouse. So forget about your enemies and think what your friends will do!”

Gabbe: “What do you want junky?”

Munez: “This!” (Shows the sketched figure) “Hey-hey, don’t worry about this sketched figure, do a guy like me of nineteen look like one of the Feds? It’s just personal business!”

Gabbe: “He’s Jeff, you’ll get him at avenue 2, second house from left!”

Munez knocks the door of second house of avenue 2,

Jeff: “Yep?”

Munez: “You mind if I butt in?” (Enters) “Seven months from now you stole a handbag of a woman at Times square; in that handbag with cash you must have found a plastic card. I am here to obtain it!”

Jeff: “Bro, I have no idea what are you talking about.”

Munez throws ten thousand dollars on his table.

Munez: “There’s not much difference in making money between you and me except for your black skin. Give me the goddamn card.”

Jeff gets up a little nervous opens a box and hands him over the card. Munez takes out a device plugs the card into the slot and green LED glows indicating “ORIGINAL”.

Munez: “Perfect!”

Jeff: “What’s that?”

Munez: “You mean this? It’s a plastic card; we call it “PING”. Just like you connect several computers from a single source to internet in star topology. Every company member has this PING so we can identify them. While entering a building for a meeting or event they just have to swipe the card through the slots and they are authenticated. So, are you happy with this ten thousand dollars or you wanna make some more?”

Jeff is in the car with Munez.

Jeff: “Where are you taking me too? What do I have to do?”

At the closed factory site Munez applies the breaks,

Munez: “Get out of the car!”

Jeff comes out and so does Munez, Munez takes out a Webley Scott revolver out of his pocket.

Jeff: “Hey-Hey what’s the gun for?”

Munez: “You know the business I am in is pretty dirty. I really seemed to like you pal and so I have nothing against you. Sorry!”

And pulls the trigger! Then takes out his cell phone.

Munez: “I have the PING in my pocket!”

Jose Abrahim: (on the phone) “Good job! You have already shaken NY quite a bit so I suggest you to head back to Argentina before the F.B.I grabs your ass! There’s a plane flying to Argentina after two hours at the JFK! And our guys will take care of Jane’s body.”

September 28 2008,

Credit crisis spreads to Europe as the Dutch-Belgian banking and insurance giant Fortis NV is partially nationalized. One of the harshest times for Europe but for few people one of the sweetest times!

Adriaan Barculo: “Like the fucking whore that pisses me off! When there’s party time this fucking bitch has to show up! You know Chairman has been true to me and so has been with you fucking Dutch gigolos. So drink bastards!

From at a distance two people talking to each other looking at Adriaan,

Sophia: “I’ve slept many times with him! Don’t get startled! He’s not my father! He’s thrown up quite a party in this fucking town of Amsterdam.”

William Frank: “At least I should know that! And there is a reason to be happy; he’s got a direct access to Fortis, Chairman’s gift to his first European counterpart. This time I am pursuing BNP Paribas to hold the remaining part. I hope this French connection will work.”

September 29 2008,

John Anderson takes the morning breakfast with the newspaper. And he finds something he could not believe.

John: (reads)…. “The Treasury confirmed this morning that the bank's savings accounts and 200 branches were being sold to Spanish bank Santander for £612million but that its £41billion 'toxic' mortgage book was being taken over by the state.”

A London morning could have never been proved to be this bitter when he read about the nationalization of Bradford & Bingley. The bitterness was not because of being emotionally attached to the bank.

John takes out his cell phone and dials a number,

John: (on the phone)…… “well we got divorced and after her death no one was there to take her possessions, she never resigned so officially she should still be on the records. I just want to know the downsizing process which is underway after this nationalization holds her name or not?” …waits while the receptionist replies…… “alright, put me on hold” ….. after a minute receptionist comes back and tells him…… “what? Her name is on top? Anyways, thank you!”

John disconnects and walks slowly then opens a box and takes out the suicide note which Samantha had left for him. The suicide note was-

“JOHN, I HOPE YOU’VE BEEN LIVING A HAPPY LIFE BUT I AM NOT HAPPY ANYMORE. I LOST MY JOB, B&B IS WITNESSING A POWER SWAP AND I HAVE NOONE TO BLAME, NOTHING TO LOSE. SO HERE’S A LAST GOODBYE. I’VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU……..”

John puts the note on the table, takes his keys and drives to Bradford & Bingley head office,

John: “ I don’t know, you have got to explain this, she knew that she would be axed seven months before and you’re telling me that you folks have come out with this downsizing plan just a few days back?”

Receptionist: “Sir I am sorry for your loss, but sometimes employees guess that they would be next.”

John: “No employee commits suicide on guessing!”

John leaves.

September 30 2008,

Like elsewhere the sentiments were no different in the Moscow sandwich shop. The bankruptcy of Seattle based Washington Mutual was announced on the state run Moscow news channel. Vlad takes time off and steps out of the sandwich shop and sends a text message.

TEXT MESSAGE: “Sir, I guess it’s about time! Pitch for the call, it’s WA-MU!”

Soon as the message is received a very famous Russian (identity has been hidden) picks up the phone and dials a number.

Chairman: (on the phone)……. “I know it’s pretty usual if you make me calls at this point of time.”

Russian Billionaire: “Yes Chairman and I want to remind you of the people who promised me something and couldn’t fulfill. I think you still remember Mikhail Khodorkovsky, the oil tycoon and X-KGB agent Alexander Litvinenko. One is in for nine years and other died of polonium poisoning. That son of a bitch died blaming Kremlin for his death, but you see I am still ruling. Do you want one of the fates like these guys had or else you would be expecting a whole new example of yourself?”

Chairman: “I know _______( calls him by name) you had plans for that bank and you missed out on the future investments. But I can assure you for your future wealth. We are helping Wells Fargo with its possible acquisition of Wachovia. And I think you have invested in majority in Wells Fargo, that can double the amount of your investment in not more than three years. It will also help you in becoming the member of board Of Directors of one of the largest bank with branches in the U.S”

Russian Billionaire: “Are you kidding me Chairman? Citi is Pursuing Wachovia, how come a bank like Wells Fargo can go against a government brokered deal?”

Chairman: “You don’t worry about that. Not only American, we are also taking care of your European investments. Yes I am talking about BNP Paribas, our American delegate to one of a French bank is Pursuing the bank to take control of Fortis’ operations. That will again help BNP Paribas become the largest lender by that measure in the 15 countries sharing the euro. So tell me you want that Seattle junk standing tall against all odds or you want to be a part of the giants one with largest bank in terms of branches in the States and the other being the largest lender?”

Russian Billionaire: “I understand chairman. And thanks for the gift to my German friend”

Chairman: “I knew a 50 billion-euro rescue package for Hypo Real Estate Holding AG would be enough for your friend.”

Russian Billionaire: “Thanks Chairman!”

Chairman: “You compared me with that anti Kremlin, I was hurt by that!”

October 2 2008,

In his departmental store Peter was watching the news on his television which was somewhere on shelf.

Newsreader: “The 700 billion dollar financial industry bailout found a second life on Thursday, winning lopsided passage in the US Senate and gaining ground in the House of Representatives, where Republicans opposition softened.”

All of a sudden a man in black suit comes. He was one of the feds!

FBI Agent: “Whoa! That’s a mind boggling amount!”

Peter: “How can I help you gentleman?”

FBI Agent: “You know Jane Winthrop? I guess you have been her X client, and according to your last conversation on phone you said to her that if she doesn’t give you your forty grands you are going to dump her body for scavengers with her throat slit.”

Peter: “So?”

FBI Agent: “Looks like you have been true to your words. We found her body on September 18 right here in Baltimore at a dump station four miles from here with her throat slit.”

Peter: “Hey! What the crap are you talking about? Someone has set me up! Two robbers took every single penny that day; I was so fucking pissed so I made her that call and threatened her to give my money back. I was already broke!”

FBI Agent: “And that’s make another good reason why you killed her just out of your desperateness for that damn forty grands. About this news, the government will bail out those troubled banks but can you be free on even seven hundred billion dollars bail? I doubt it!”

October 3 2008,

On NPR (National Public Radio) the news is announced,

Announcement: “Wells Fargo has stunned financial markets by announcing a merger with Wachovia. Wachovia was involved in a government-brokered deal with Citigroup earlier in the week. The Wells Fargo deal puts the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation in an awkward position.”

October 6 2008,

On Bloomberg’s official website the news is posted,

Oct. 6 (Bloomberg): “-- BNP Paribas SA agreed to take control of Fortis in Belgium and Luxembourg for 14.5 billion euros ($19.8 billion), completing a breakup of the largest Belgian financial- services company after a government rescue failed.”

November 5 2008,

The results are announced, Obama creates history by becoming the first black President.

Adriaan Barculo: “Thanks for inviting me for this little tea party Chairman but you know I am not flying all the way from Amsterdam to Newyork just to sip at this tea. I think Russians are pissed, they don’t know the pain involved in this process.”

Chairman: “(talking while sipping at tea)…. You know it Adriaan that we’re doing it without the help of Republicans and to come to our full swing we have to convince our new old friends who are back in power once again. But you know the process would be slow.”

November 24 2008,

Indeed, the process is slow but it’s not over.

Rushing to rescue Citigroup, the government agreed to shoulder hundreds of billions of dollars in possible losses at the stricken bank and to plow a fresh $20 billion into the company.

Regulators hope the dramatic action will bolster badly shaken confidence in the once-mighty banking giant as well as the nation's financial system, a goal that so far has been elusive despite a flurry of government interventions to battle the worst global crisis since the 1930s.

Wall Street investors reacted enthusiastically. The Dow Jones industrials shot up about 300 points in morning trading. Stock markets in Britain and Germany also gained ground. Citigroup shares themselves climbed 61.3 percent to $6.08 in morning trading.

This is just in on November 24 on “Associated Press”.

Jacob Braura: “Is there any end to it?”

________End Of Part 2___________

Friday, July 18, 2008

Scar Tissue.

Now it’s time when the heat is on and the road is empty, flocks heading towards Siberia, but a Texan cowboy loves to live the life with the desert lizards not only because they are beautiful but also they (lizards) love him.
With a Toyota pick up truck and a round cow boy hat, a white vest and a pair of jeans with a match stick between the teeth, elbow outside the driver window and a lonely road with yellow stripes in between, on the sideways heavy electric lines and the hanging wires and cables, on the radio RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS’s “SCAR TISSUE”, and with the beautiful tune the constant speed of the rusty pick up truck. “GOD BLESS TEXAS”!!!!
IT was not that I always liked listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers but the track made me a big fan of them, I started listening to “californication”, “snow”, “dani California” and “scar tissue”!!! But the tune matched it, I started looking at the red desert flowers, some of them passed by my pick up truck from ahead and behind as the hot wind blew them away, miles away. Look at the looks of mine unshaved bristles and unwashed face, I got up late and put my stuff at the back of the truck. I love this vehicle, because it gives me the pleasure that even a SUV can’t give!!! I love its big tyres and a manly look structure, top speed with heavy duty!!
One of the most beautiful things in this road trip is the road itself, it’s not a road, and it’s racing circuit. You won’t find the famous Dunlop Bridge across the road like the Brits have it in Donnigton Park, but you will find the remains of cows across the road, like the one I am looking at!! Wow, the hollow structure of this cow Skelton looks so weird!!!
The best thing about this highway is that you’ll get a very fine inverted image on the road far ahead, when the road shines like water boiling at hundred degrees, and again I see that a convertible Renault is rising like a sun at the end of this highway, it approaches like a rocket fired from Israel to Palestine. Now the car is close, I don’t know why they are messing with heat on this convertible car, may be they are the Texas heat lovers like me. Three beautiful Kentucky girls with black goggles laughed at me as I passed by. Ever wondered how I figured out they are Kentucky girls?? It’s very simple I read the Kentucky cheerleaders on their t-shirts!!!
Driving through this hot uneven paradise made me hungry and thirsty. Now I move to self service gas station, the only one in between 50 miles!! Don’t forget to have your tank full, while filling the gas I looked at the lonesome sandwich shop, it’s evening by now and this is the only place where you can sense the human civilization and honestly I couldn’t stop myself and entered. I saw a fat man who is the guy from the county sheriff; I see the tan/brown shirt, eating a hell of big sandwich. Anyways, I moved forward and at the counter I asked a fat Negro woman “what do you have in here??” “We have sandwich, ham burger, and what else do you expect in this graveyard??” Quite true!

Evening has come down and in my pick up truck I got the stuff back from the sandwich shop, while eating hamburgers and sandwiches I looked at desert, it was shining red, far at a distance the sun was going down and the red dusk covered the whole Texan desert.
I was just eating and drinking sprite. By looking at the sprite can I remembered how Jack’s father used to teach him shooting by placing the empty Red Bull cans on the roof top of his car and he used to aim right at the cans, I loved the sound of the gun shots as they blew them away!! It was hard to find the pieces of the Red Bull cans!!!

Time was over, and I was heading back home, night had darkened the desert and I was driving into it. With black turned red desert flowers and the yellow stripes turned radium glowing lights on the highway was giving the impression of a runway. But there was no plane to land and it was just my pick up truck and me driving into the night, keeping the scar tissue in my head, hoping to get back home soon, driving and driving.
In case you missed Scar Tissue on TV, I have put it in here!! Just watch it!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

DIRTY BUSINESS

We have made some ethics, conducts, rules and regulations but it ain’t gonna change, everything is all for nothing, we just call it the civil and global world of business but in true sense it’s nothing more than a hollow world of money and fame. Let me get straight to you and explain all about this crap.

We all love watching formula one , don’t we?? And for Italy this game is a tradition, being home to the Ferrari it becomes much more than a racing sport. For U.K, America, Spain and Germany this sport has been a chance for their home car manufacturers to showcase their supremacy. And not to forget is the country Japan, which is the only Asian country that took this sport very seriously from the starting and took part in races from the beginning of this sport. For example “Honda” , which is a Japanese car company introduced it’s F1 cars with Europe and America, it also introduced the Japanese grand prix sooner than any other Asian country. Now with Asia in house, for example a number of countries are hosting F1 grand prix like Japan(Fuji speedway), Malaysia(Sepang), Bahrain(Sakhir), china(shanghai international), Turkey(Istanbul park), an Eurasian country which stretches across the western Asia to southeastern Europe, Singapore, which is to stage a night grand prix this year in September and India, soon to host in 2010, are among a few Asian countries.

Formula one is spreading!! Good for Bernie Ecclestone, who runs the formula one and good for the formula one sport itself!! But here it falls, the color of dirty business haunts this spectacular sport. Every thing was going fine, Europeans took this sport by heart, Americans loved it with all their respect, even Asians also liked it but as the country India put the hammer down, everything changed!! A country with as low per capita income as $862 launches itself into this sporting business. With a liquor baron, enough money to buy a loss making formula one team from a Dutch mol family, good for Vijay Mallya who is known as “the king of good times” in India, changed the name from spykerf1 to forceindiaf1. Why I call it bad?? He degraded this sport by doing so. In the history of f1 the supremacy of race was always considered by the dominance of a car company not by the dominance of a country. To explain it further, the points which are given to winners include the driver’s points, the team’s points. But in formula one there is no provision of giving points to the country. The drivers in formula one represent teams not their countries. Then how come an owner of a formula one team changes the beautiful name like Spyker to a hardliner like forceindia??? There is no doubt Vijay Mallya degraded this beautiful sport by being a nationalist, especially when a sport like f1 does not consider boundaries of nations and makes the drivers teammate who belong to the countries which took part against each other in some time back during cold war!

Alright, let's give Mr. Mallya a chance, let's consider he is a nationalist who likes India by his heart and soul and he can do any anything for his native land. Now it's time for the litmus paper test for patriotism!!

Two Indian drivers, one is a former Jordan Ford driver Narain Karthikeyan, a very unpopular one that hardly a formula one fan can recognize him and the other one , Karun Chandok, another driver who drives in GP2 series but has his dream to drive a formula one car.

(see the Spyker during 2007 session)

As for Karthikeyan to get the break again and for Chandok to drive a formula one car, both of their dreams were about to come true when they came to know that an Indian entrepreneur has bought a formula one team and has renamed it as 'Force India'. Obviously, by seeing such a patriotic act by a person who bought a F1 team which looks like, as the new name "Force India" suggests is going to give opportunity to two Indian drivers to drive not for the team but for their loving nation. But this patriotic act is not so patriotic at all as the Indian hero Vijay Mallya gives the contract to the former Renault driver the dashing Italian Giancarlo Fisichella. Well, so bad for Chandok as it was clear that teammate of this Italian can't be him, the clear option is Fisi and Karthikeyan, one Indian and the other Italian. Finally, bad for Karthikeyan too, it was decided to let the German Adrian Sutil drive the new Force India as he drove Spyker last year.

At this Narain Karthikeyan was very disappointed, even he made a comment public that he was expecting to be one of the driver in the Force India cockpit. Anyways,there is no doubt that Vijay Mallya has hired the two foreigner and skilled drivers just to earn money because he does not want to let his team run in loss, then why on earth he named his team "Force India" when he had nothing to do with his country. The only thing matters to him is money and this time around he has used his dirty tricks to do this "dirty business"!!!
So far three races has gone by and "Force India" has scored no points but it can improve significantly as Mallya has invested heavily in the improvements of the car with technical support of Giancarlo Fisichella.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

A MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION!

Now the day has come to witness the biggest financial crisis of lifetime. Citibank , Société Générale, morgan stanley and all other top banks across the world are taking nosedives. Do we blame these losses to some bad debts written off or lending off mortgage funds, some hedge funds blown up or to the most extent a rouge trader???? Think again!!! We are dealing with world’s biggest losses in banking which took down the biggest names in a century old history. And I suspect it’s not just a few human error, it’s a deliberate attempt to wipe off the wild- wild west’s enormous wealth!! But it’s simply not “oops” resulted in a loss of billions of American dollars, but whatever it is, certainly remains a “million dollar question”!!!!

Here’s an outlook to the impact of this financial mess!!!


A departmental store in Baltimore,

Two men in black mask enter with a glock and .22 gun. One can easily hear the noise coming from the TV placed somewhere on the shelf. A newsreader is talking about the loss which the banks in America have made as the result of sub prime woes which certainly makes no sense to either of the guys.

One of the masked man swiftly points the gun on the owner of the store.

‘C’ : enough watching news!!! Time for business, get the fucking cash register and hand me over a few hundred dollars.

Owner: hey, stop! Take it easy, I’m bringing.

‘C’ : then bring it fast, no funny business. ‘D’ would you help me burying his whole fucking family alive if this motherfucker reports this to police???

‘D’ : my pleasure!!

Times square, Newyork city,

A woman in mid 30’s strolling along the busy road, talking on her cell phone. From her talk looks like she had been in some brokering firm.

Woman : “ I don’t know, it must be another long day, I stood there like some beggar asking for money!”...... (pause) “ yes I told him to place his bets on yahoo!, it’s gonna surge, anyone of them will take it over, but I don’t know what went wrong!! Son of a bitch keeps making me calls asking for his 40 grands. … a wait for another voice on phone…………” yeah looks like I’m done”!!!

While on other side of the road a black guy of 16 is staring at the woman, above him a giant screen is displaying the live plummeting stocks of different companies and clearly this guy has got nothing to do with it. He waits and looks for the right time to make his move.

Woman : “ok maria, I feel good whenever I talk to you. Take care, bye”

….!!! “Ah”! ( the guy makes the move and runs away with her handbag)!!!

Woman : “ stop u little bastard!!! Oh man!!! (in disgust). And now this guy steals my purse!!! God what the hell are you doing to me?? Looks like I have to go home on foot!!

Washington D.C

Two pentagon officials talking on a secure private line.

General Hoggard: “ yeah, this thing came to my attention. He was a creepy little bastard who forgot his limitations. I should have provoked him to pass the resolution, but all you have to do is to save this for your meal.”

General Sheffered: “ all I have to do is to save my ass. Don’t you know they identified one of the spokesperson for the banks was involved?? Goddamn!! Even thinking of him gives me shivers!!!”

General Hoggard: “ get the hell out of here there’s no way we’re gonna get caught.”

General Sheffered: “ I suppose


Paris, France,

Before the quarter ending meeting outside the soc gen conference room a Frenchman talking to an American delegate.

Frenchman: (in a heavy French accent) hello Mr. frank, I can understand we are losing the trust of our people.

William Frank: yeah the way both of us have behaved in public, what on earth they are going to do?? Losing faith is all they have!!!

Frenchman: oh you are absolutely right. Don’t you agree we both are in the same boat. Afterall I find France somewhere relative to America!!

William Frank: (smiles in affirmative)



London, England,

A blonde with a pale yellow face holding a 9mm gun is talking to herself. From her body language it clearly looks her past days gave her a bitter feeling of disappointment. She’s on the floor and just ahead of her on her TV, Ben Bernanke, the current Chairman of the Board of Governors of the United States Federal Reserve is addressing different nations simultaneously through satellite broadcasting.

Blonde: “I thought I’ll go to London and start a whole new life, but everything blew up!!!! (sobbing) now I’ve decided what I have to do. (holds her gun tight and points on her head).

Suddenly on her TV Ben Bernanke’s speech gets her attention…..

“……… and for the time being now, we have taken a lot of precautions and therefore, we hope the condition in American housing market will improve. The subprime fear will be over soon and other economies will also take a breathe of relief with this decision. In last few weeks………..”

blonde: “ u were absolutely right John, I’m another victim of subprime woes."

And without thinking a moment further she shoots and her body falls on the floor blood coming right from her head.

Buenos Aires, Argentina,

In a motel room Munez, a guy from American origin is in his bed with his cousin sister. But does he really bother sleeping with his cousin sister?? Sure another corrupt teen. On the TV Bernanke’s speech is going on without any interruption. Suddenly he listens to the speech and glues to the TV.

“………… yes we did take a lot of measures to save the American economy from falling into a recession. We cut the key rates by 75 basis points and it was not even a month we slashed it again on January 30 at the fed meet by 50 basis points. As a result of which stock markets across the globe jumped with a positive approach including Dowjones. And we need to make………..”

Munez: “it had to happen, they all have advisers from across the globe some Europeans, Africans and some asshole Asians. They all fuck up and bring different strategies. You know it’s the same story of too many cooks in the kitchen spoil the food!@!!! Only Americans should be appointed with these sensitive posts. Don’t you agree dear???”

Cousin sister: “ when you are in the bed. I bet no one can do it better than an American does!! Get the pills!!!”

Munez:” when you’re here who needs a fucking four hour hard on pill???”

Love making starts again


Barcelona, Spain,

A black Muslim guy is watching the Bernanke speech on TV. And his curiosity is not simply because of being a scholar, he’s one of them!!!

Jose Abraham: “ who needs to bomb the financial markets again???”


Tikrit, Iraq,

the top Al-Qaeda operative in baghdad, Al-Masri is talking to his aides-

Almasri: "in this war Allah is with us. have you all come to know the financial mess all over the world??

saed: "we did ur majesty! they all are going to die."

Almasri: "do not underestimate your enemy. they still have a lot of money, big enough to buy half of the world."


Moscow, Russia,

Ben Bernanke’s speech finishes with an applause, the crowd which was watching Bernanke speech at a sandwich shop started to disperse. Most of them were keen buyers of stocks and they all used to watch every public announcement made by any news channel or a leader. This was their usual stop for talking shares and stocks. Two friends started to share their views.

Vlad: “no doubt this Jerome Kerviel has got over French nerves. How come a guy can ruin a bank of this big prestige???”

Mikhail: “ you better ask him. All I know that man cost soc gen a $7.2 billion loss. He is a rouge trader, let him die in prison.”


Somewhere on earth,

A man is addressing a group of most powerful people from different nations.

Chairman: “ I think there is no need to tell what has happened in recent weeks, everything is going as planned. But I’ve called all of you here to discuss this “Jerome Kerviel”. Do all of you think we should take him out of the prison earlier?? A?”

A: “no”

Chairman: “B?”

B: “no”

Chairman: “C?”

C: “yes”

Chairman: “D?”

D: “no”

Chairman: “E?”

E: “no”

Chairman: “I vote 'no'.What we are doing the world will come to know tomorrow. Go ahead with the plan. Thank you gentlemen."

_____________________THE END_____________________








Wednesday, February 6, 2008

being a philanthropist

JOURNALIST: “What do you feel about being a philanthropist?????”

ME: I feel like a human!

Had I been some money dude, I would have answered somewhat like that!!! But the irony is i am not a rich man. And may be this thing prompted me to do something for people.But at least I can assure myself that I am on my way to be something for the society!!! When I read newspapers about BILL GATES and WARREN BUFFET about their philanthropic activities, it took me by storm. I came to know about “BILL & MELINDA GATES FOUNDATION”. The biggest foundation in the world collecting billions of U.S dollars just to help people. Seeing WARREN BUFFET giving away 85% of his fortune in financial aid!! Where people save every single penny for themselves, eliminating a record eighty five percent of his own hard earned wealth in a second is not merely a charitable act!! It’s something that god should have done!

The founder of Seattle based software giant Microsoft Corporation, Bill Gates, officially announced in somewhere july 2006 that he is shifting his position from Microsoft to other activities such as philanthropy. He made that announcement when Microsoft needed him most, as the share prices of Microsoft was plunging day by day and the threat from it’s potential rival “Google” was increasing quite rapidly. But he did not care about it too much and clearly said even in this horrific situation that he is not completely leaving the organization, but most of his focus will remain on philanthropy. When I came to know this I thought about this for a long time that why someone who created an empire of this kind is diverting his mind from business and instead of increasing it more he is shifting it towards philanthropy. But when I went to the roots I found myself a mean human who was after the money and thinking of his personal gain. And at that time I remembered the famous “Spiderman”- “with great power comes the great responsibility.” And it was right. As today nothing is more powerful than the money and when you have it then use it wisely!!

I thought of different people who keep on increasing their fortune just in order to get their names on Forbes. And then I thought of these people like Warren Buffet the chairman of Berkshire Hathaway” who gave 85% of his wealth in charity just to help poor people. I found a contrast between them. And more interestingly when I compared both of the philanthropists, one the founder of software giant and the other the richest person on this planet after him “Warren Buffet” was far from acceptable. Both of them are agnostic!! Being not so religious they are doing the religious work!! May be they have taken place of the so called god!! Whatever was it, it was far from normal. But I came to the conclusion that by just worshiping god you can’t get religious as I have already seen people who do a lot of spiritual activities but they are not laying standards like these people do for living. therefore, for me whether you are rich or an evangelist, a true man is who calls himself a philanthropist!!!!